things I think about while not grading papers

Back from Colorado, with a mountain of papers to grade, and no motivation to grade them. I really like this job in a lot of ways, but I go through these stretches where I just don't have any motivation. Then I feel guilty because I don't feel like a good teacher, which normally leads to less motivation, not more. Oh well - one of these days I'll learn how to make myself be consistently disciplined and do the things I don't necessarily want to do so that I don't have them hanging over my head and throwing shadows over what could otherwise be pretty relaxed days.

Colorado was awesome. It was overcast quite a bit of the time, but it cleared up enough for me to have some nice views of the mountains. There was snow on the ground up there - first time I've been in that area with snow. I didn't have a lot of free time, but enjoyed what time I did have. I took a walk that was supposed to be a half-hour walk and turned into an hour walk (I knew where I was, really, I just got a little confused), and in the process ran into a herd of elk. The first afternoon I was there, before our meetings actually started, I just relaxed and spent some time (gasp!) just trying to be in God's presence. I ended up writing at least part of a song that we might use for the conference. Anyway, even though we worked hard, it was a relaxing few days, and reminded me how badly I need to make time to relax - haven't really done it since I've been back, but that would be asking a little much, wouldn't it?

It was also an amazing trip just because of the people I'm working with. A very diverse group - Hispanics, African-Americans, Asian-Americans... all with different ways of living out and expressing their faith, and that makes for a very rich experience. A standout experience - praying with all 28 of the people who were there and hearing 28 different ways of communicating with God... some in Spanish, some with passionate overtures, some with bold declarations, some in gentle, reverent tones, some with articulate and elegant supplication. One other highlight was reconnecting with Elias, a Bostonian of Puerto Rican descent, who was my roommate at the last conference. He had to leave early three years ago because his dad was dying. For him to be able to come back now and play drums in the band with me is a redemptive experience for him, and for me a second chance to learn about and connect with an amazing guy who, last time, showed me faith in hard times in a more real way than I'd ever seen.

On tap for this week - trying to catch up at work, probably spending whatever time I can with Sarah, hopefully letting God cultivate the desire for Him that He reawakened in Colorado.

Ok, the first part of this post convinced me to go work on my grading...

mountains and such

I don't know if it's worth saying this, because I've been pretty sporadic about posting for a while anyway, but I just thought I'd mention that I'll be away from computers for the rest of the week and won't be writing until I get back.

I'm flying to Colorado tomorrow to take part in a planning meeting for the 2004 National American Baptist Youth Gathering that will take place in Estes Park this summer. I'm the "band leader." It's a really neat opportunity - I'll get to rehearse a band with members of both sexes and varying ethnicities, and help lead worship for a very large group of teenagers. And I get to help plan the large group worship sessions. So it's a very cool thing, and a way to stay connected to my American Baptist roots, even though I'm not at an American Baptist church right now.

I have to say, though, that for the last couple days I've been thinking more about all of the work I'm having to do to get ready to go (especially since it's midterms week at school), and all the work I'll have waiting for me when I get back. My students are going to have to take their midterms without me here, and I don't feel good about that.

I'm sure, though, that once I get out to CO and see the mountains, and get to spend a few days just enjoying the view and getting to focus 100% on ministry stuff, I'll feel very good about it. I love mountains, and Estes Park itself has some good memories for me - the last national youth gathering was there and was an amazing experience, and the YMCA camp there was also where my family took refuge after an ill-fated hike in the Rockies in which we were fairly high up a mountain when a thunderstorm moved in, and I nearly was struck by lightning (ok, it probably wasn't that close, but my hair did stand up!), and our campsite was flooded out. The YMCA camp didn't have any small rooms available for us, but it just happened that one of their fully-furnished CABINS, that people normally reserve at least a year in advance, came free that day, and we got to stay there that night.

Ok, I got off on a tangent, but I'm going to Colorado - be back Saturday!